Trouble In Paradise: A Clarification

Thanks to all who have commented below. We understand that it wasn’t entirely fair to ask for advice when we do not feel we can share all the details of the matter. Suffice it to say, however, that more is at issue than simple homesickness or a rough patch. Re-reading our post below, we definitely gave that impression, and we apologize. We are looking at a chronic medical condition which has worsened significantly at least in part to the particular circumstances of living in the Near Abroad.

Due to that fact, our choices are rapidly dwindling. When we joined, we obviously knew about the problem, but it was our judgment—as well as the judgment of the State Department’s medical people—that it was not so serious as to preclude duty overseas. Now, it appears that that judgment was incorrect.

This job and position is our dream job; we are fighting hard to hang onto it. But, at the end of the day, family must come first.

This is a very sad and difficult time for us and we appreciate very much your kind words.

We’ll keep you posted.

R&R Report Three: Trouble in Paradise

We’re sorry to report that things lately have not be going well. In this particular case, silence was not golden. We expect normal posting to resume shortly.

While most of what happened is highly personal, we are able to provide a rough outline. Therefore, without further delay, we present our final R&R report:

1) We arrive in the O.C. We had forgotten how horrifically ugly many parts of Orange County can be. No, not the nice parts, but Garden Grove, Buena Park, Anaheim and that area are a wasteland of ugly strip malls and parking lots. No wonder we got out of there as soon as we could. There’s no place like home. Thankfully.

2) Our very dear friend who we were to stay with is sick, in the hospital. We go to visit with the children. Her very cool roommate and his son put us up at their shared condo in Huntington Beach. Nice drive along PCH.

3) Lunch at Mrs. Knott’s at a vastly changed Knott’s Berry Farm. Not all change is good.
Other culinary delights included: Baker’s, on the drive through Riverside County; El Cholo in La Habra and more In n’ Out. Stomach is starting to complain. Shut up, stomach!

4) We leave the O.C. for Solvang. Bumper-to-bumper, slow-and-go all the way to bloody Ventura. Dreadful. Solvang full, no room at the inn. Dinner at Andersen’s. It’s looking its age, but the pea soup was as good as we remembered. We press on all night to Carmel.

5) A visit with family in Carmel Valley. Delightful place, delightful people. A day spent on Cannery Row, the kids loved the Monterey Bay Aquarium. We hit the road.

6) We drive to Sacramento, have lunch with dear old friends, visit for a bit and then hit the road again. We decide to press on all the way home: Portland, Oregon.

7) Crisis: one of us no longer wants to live abroad. Massive discussions ensue. Family dissention arises. What to do?

8) We visit our former law colleagues. The new firm is doing well, we’re happy to discover. Former colleagues all looking good and working hard. We had forgotten how much we love Portland. Homesickness kicks in. Why are we living in the Near Abroad? Wouldn’t it be much nicer to return home?

9) More discussions. More problems with family. More uncertainty. What to do?

10) We return to the Near Abroad. The kids are marvelous on the flight. We take the bumpy uncomfortable ride home past the rows and rows of barred doors and windows.
We are unhappy here. Duty is duty, but how much can one ask of one’s spouse and children?

What to do?